Secret Yeti Shaq Attack

So I'm getting married in 2013

• (And here is a conversation between me and Narwhallo, my Maid of Honor. It should be noted that Laura/Narwhallo has been to a "White Tie Wedding," which is a level above Black Tie that I, and no one involved, knew existed before she told me about it. She didn't even know, and she is fancy as fuck.)
• (Narwhallo and I chat over IM, and as is the case with this evening, I tend to transcribe my fiance's interjections into the conversation, and eventually my typings are a strange amalgamation of madness.)
• (This is going to be the best wedding ever)
• Me: Jon says to tell you the wedding is going to be Grey Tie
• Jon: "oh shit wait no"
• Narwhallo: Hahahahaha
• Jon: "Platinum Tie"
• Narwhallo: oh fuck
• that' shit's classy, man
• Me: everyone is in victorian ballgowns
• even the men
• encrusted with diamonds
• Jon: also it is in space
• there is lace
• EVERYWHERE
• Me: lace under your fingertips
• Narwhallo: ahahahahaha
• Jon: it is required to wear sexy leingeree under everything
• Me: even the men
• Narwhallo: Everyone gets butlers
• Jon: children are neither seen
• nor heard
• Narwhallo: and pots of tea are just flying EVERYWHERE
• Jon: children are shot on sight
• Narwhallo: I'd be happy with such an event
• Me: half of the event is on thoroughbred unicorns
• Jon: there will even be
• unlimited
• juice
• Me: Platinum Tie
• save the date
• Narwhallo: fuck yes
• Jon: also a bear will be the best man
• Narwhallo: unlimited juice? This party's gonna be off the HOOK!
• Jon: he will also be in leingere
• Me: and a bustle
• Narwhallo: jesus fuck this is fucking classy
• Me: six bustles
• that is the minimum number of bustles
• Narwhallo: I might be too low-brow for this event annie
• Jon: the bear will have a butler
• that has a maid
• Narwhallo: hahahahaha
• Jon: that has a bear
• that has a butler
• who has a monkey with a fez
• Me: each in more bustles than the last
• your ass
• Narwhallo: hahaha
• Me: will be stacked through the roof
• covered in lace
• and in space
• my train will be as long as the continental united states
• Narwhallo: YES
• Jon: it will be held at one end by a satyr
• Narwhallo: Only then will I be impressed
• Me: we ever seek your approval, Laura of the Fancy Weddings
• Narwhallo: anything less and I'll be pleasantly nonplussed
• As you SHOULD
• Jon: "Even Klout says she's influential about weddings"
• Nawrhallo: heheheheheheh
• Klout tells no lies
• Jon: "there will be a post-wedding foxhunt"
• Me: the fox is mounted on a rocket horse
• Narwhallo: Everyone will wear opera gloves
• Me: from the future
• Narwhallo: no exceptions
• Jon: "and super-secret opera sunglasses"
• "which are like opera glasses, but they're also SWEET SHADES"
• Narwhallo: There will be at least ONE murder in a locked room behind closed doors
• fuck YES
• Me: the reception is held in the Accusing Parlour
• Me: watercress sandwiches will be served.
• Narwhallo: Exactly
• And everyone's secrets will be aired, even if they have nothing to do with said murder
• Jon: "Agatha Christie will be there. But not the normal Agatha Christie. The Agatha Christie from space."
• Narwhallo: We will say "God Save the Queen" at LEAST 40 times that evening
• everyone will be challenged to a polo death-match
• YES
• Space Agatha Christe
• playing Space Polo
• Jon: "The President, the Pope, and the Dalai Lama will be there"
• "They are then hunted for sport following the foxhunt"
• "#classywedding"
• Narwhallo: Very, very yes.
• I have no complaints
• http: //www.amusementrental.com/obstaclecourses.php 12:41
• Jon: "#unclassybridalshower"